True love as true insanity Part 1: Dashwood, Bathsheba and Daleks

I still have the Doctor Who hangover. I keep thinking about Rose and the Doctor, as if they are real persons, as if the real problems in this world that need facing don't keep me occupied enough. I feel like Alice Tinker-Horton, always worrying about those people in Geraldine's jokes. The Vicar of Dibley is one of those shows I keep on hand just in case I need a quick dose of sunshine and it is raining buckets outside.

While looking at pictures of the wedding of Coleen McLoughlin and Wayne Rooney a few weeks ago, I was quite disappointed. I can't imagine what five million pounds look like but I expected a gold-plated gown, gilded flowers, a diamond-encrusted cake, cars for souvenirs and the honeymoon in outer space, among others. If two people cannot resist the urge to declare their commitment to spend their life together to the entire world and would like a meaningful celebration with family and friends, I would rather suggest The Vicar of Dibley's guide to weddings.

The Love at First Sight Wedding

1. The Proposal. As the man you love asks you to marry him, make strange sounds in your throat a la Eleanor Dashwood played by Emma Thompson in Sense and Sensibility.

2. The Gown. Ditch the usual white poufy skirt, lacy veil, long train production and wear something you're comfortable in, such as your pajamas. Likewise, ditch your best friend's idea about wearing a beard or a very tall headdress more appropriate for the Ascot. Maybe you can reserve that for the honeymoon instead.

3. The Entourage. To make sure your wedding is sure to be remembered, allow your matron of honor to dress herself as Doctor Who as portrayed by David Tennant, the brown-coated one of course, and your bridesmaids as Daleks. WAHAHAHA!


4. The Motif. To offset the contribution of your wedding party to greenhouse emissions, go green by decorating the church with fruits and vegetables.

5. The March. For added impact, set off explosions while you are walking down the aisle. That would surely distract you from your deepest fear of making the leap into the unknown.

6. The Reading. Never mind the Epistle to the Ephesians. The Wedding at Cana won't do. How about the entire Gospel of Matthew?

7. The Kiss. Why stop at the groom, everyone needs to kiss the bride!

8. The Hymn. Well, there can only be one Jim's Hymn.

I wish you happiness and joy
And countless years together
And pray that things will never get
As bad as Paul and Heather

Oh, Heather and Paul, they started well
But many a marriage is made in hell
Fingers crossed, let's be optimistic
Yours won't be a divorce statistics

Disasters such as Charles and Di
Make us wonder: weddings, why

***

Nicole and Tom, Jennifer and Brad
Started happy, Ended sad
How rapidly the words "I do."
Become, "Get lost? To hell, we're through!"

But not today, Oh no this is
A marriage made of brick
They'll love each other
Through thin and thick
Unless Harry's a total prick

WAHAHA!

9. The Groom. Oh how can I forget! Only Richard Armitage could look that attractive whilst plagiarizing Gabriel Oak's proposal to Bathsheba Everdene, Whenever you look up, there I shall be -- and whenever I look up there will be you. Unlike Miss Everdene, say yes immediately, before Richard changes his mind.

sun dappled walks

I love walking.

My favorite kind would have to be long sun dappled Sunday morning walks in the countryside. Think Elizabeth Bennet as portrayed by Jennifer Ehle and Keira Knightley. That must be why I love the 1995 and 2005 adaptations of Pride and Prejudice because there were quite a lot of walking. I was quite disappointed with the 1940 film starring Greer Garson where archery took the center stage instead.

There is also something to be said about rain-drenched walks. I quite like umbrellas and although this kind of walks is more commonly associated to romance, I actually prefer walking alone in the rain rather than share an umbrella with someone. I do not want to be reminded of a walk with a certain someone during a quite rain drenched night and how the quaintness of it all led me to unnecessarily dedicate a decade of my life to a one-sided relationship doomed to fail. I rather fancy solitary walks. I enjoy meandering puddles and slogging through mud by myself.

I also love traipsing through city streets with friends in the middle of the night, most likely in search for greasy food, when making do with pantry staples just won't...well...do. This is the best time to emulate a philosopher and develop various theories about the vast universe and the purpose of one's existence.

Of course, walking can be combined with an assortment of activities that are equally delightful. I adore how Elizabeth Bennet take walks while reading a book or letters. I wish I could do that every single day. However, this is a little difficult to accomplish unless you actually live in the Lake District or in one of those Midsomer villages in Causton. But the very idea is such a sensation overload. I mean two favorite things, both at the same time!

I also like eating while walking. Well, I love to eat no matter whatever else I am doing, that includes travelling.

The most satisfactory thing about walking though, above all, is that it affords you time to think, whether about inconsequential matters or about the most important decision of your life.

It is also, apparently, very good exercise.